Today was the day I came face to face with the little sucker that has been hiding behind my nipple - silent, still. The ultrasound and the added series of mammograms showed a small cyst behind my nipple, less than a cm in size judging from the way the nurse measured it from the xray film. I won't have the final result of the biopsy (which meant that it wasn't just an ordinary cyst) till 3 days later but I will mark today in this lifetime because this is the first time that I felt a deep existential uncertainty about my mortality - though death is something I have mulled philosophically countless times on those lengthy car drives. Yet, I know that from another perspective there are bigger things happening around me:
1. The world is in the worst recession ever and everyone predicts it's gonna get worse in the next 3 years or so. People are losing their jobs, their homes and their lives out of desperation.
2. Iran is in turmoil - protests escalating because of fraudulent election results.
3. Lunch on korean BBQ, OB beer and several pickled salads with Rosalinda as well as my first taste of concentrated peach tea as a palate cleanser. In my favorite resto - Hwaro. Yesterday it was rose black tea.
4. Verdict and follow up was wrapped up in 2 hours - yet its effect on my life could be very big.
5. Is it a wake up call or a farewell sign? Either way I am comfortable, just drug me.
6. I feel a bit cheated, somehow.
7. I couldn't reach my sister while I was emo - 3 tries and that's it.
8. The first one who knew about it was Rosalinda, next was Bing, 3rd was Eleanor.
9. Farrah Fawcett & Michael Jackson died this week. Thriller was playing on the radio while they were doing my Biopsy.
10. Dr. Tran did my biopsy. He's my Doctor Dread, for sure.
11. I went to work and clocked in. Life goes on.
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